{"id":280,"date":"2016-02-21T19:11:36","date_gmt":"2016-02-21T19:11:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pcs.kennedy.bz\/?p=280"},"modified":"2019-03-04T22:08:26","modified_gmt":"2019-03-04T22:08:26","slug":"why-is-it-important-to-say-sorry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/procommskills.com\/why-is-it-important-to-say-sorry\/","title":{"rendered":"Why is it important to say sorry?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\t\t\t\t[et_pb_section bb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; fullwidth=&#8221;on&#8221; specialty=&#8221;off&#8221; next_background_color=&#8221;#000000&#8243;][et_pb_fullwidth_header title=&#8221;Why is it important to say sorry?&#8221; subhead=&#8221;And how to not imply blame&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.0.106&#8243; use_background_color_gradient=&#8221;on&#8221; background_color_gradient_start=&#8221;#141891&#8243; background_color_gradient_end=&#8221;#033d30&#8243; background_image=&#8221;https:\/\/procommskills.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/6288367519_3f5147db7c_o.jpg&#8221; background_blend=&#8221;overlay&#8221; custom_padding=&#8221;150px||150px|&#8221; title_text_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; title_text_shadow_style=&#8221;preset1&#8243; subhead_text_color=&#8221;#ffffff&#8221; subhead_font_size=&#8221;34px&#8221; subhead_line_height=&#8221;1.5em&#8221; header_fullscreen=&#8221;off&#8221; header_scroll_down=&#8221;off&#8221; image_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; background_layout=&#8221;light&#8221; content_orientation=&#8221;center&#8221; custom_button_two=&#8221;off&#8221; button_two_icon_placement=&#8221;right&#8221; custom_button_one=&#8221;off&#8221; button_one_icon_placement=&#8221;right&#8221; \/][\/et_pb_section][et_pb_section bb_built=&#8221;1&#8243; admin_label=&#8221;section&#8221; prev_background_color=&#8221;#000000&#8243;][et_pb_row background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221;][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243;][et_pb_text background_layout=&#8221;light&#8221; text_orientation=&#8221;left&#8221; border_style=&#8221;solid&#8221; background_position=&#8221;top_left&#8221; background_repeat=&#8221;repeat&#8221; background_size=&#8221;initial&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.0.62&#8243;]\n\nWe have all heard that its important to say sorry when someone feels things have not gone as hoped but to demonstrate this point let me tell you a story with two endings.\n<div><a href=\"https:\/\/procommskills.comwp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/hospital-corridor-1162506.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-281\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-281 alignleft\" src=\"https:\/\/procommskills.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/hospital-corridor-1162506-199x300.jpg\" alt=\"hospital-corridor-1162506\" width=\"199\" height=\"300\" \/><\/a>Tom was walking through a corridor at work. It was a long corridor with lots of double doors.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Walking a few paces in front of Tom was Gerry. Gerry was preoccupied with a meeting he was on his way to and didn\u2019t know Tom was behind him, so when he walked through a set of double doors he didn\u2019t hold them open and they swung back to hit Tom in the face.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Gerry looked back when he heard Tom say \u201c<i>Ouch<\/i>!\u201d but he didn\u2019t say sorry, he just turned around and hurried off to his meeting.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>That night Tom was still angry with Gerry, he kept thinking how rude he was and what a bad person. Forever more Tom would think of Gerry as a bad person.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>But what if the story ended link this\u2026?<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Gerry looked back when he heard Tom say \u201c<i>Ouch<\/i>!\u201d and turned to see if Tom was ok.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\u201c<i>I\u2019m so sorry Tom, I didn\u2019t see you there, are you ok, did the door catch you?<\/i>\u201d Said Gerry.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Tom replied, \u201c<i>Yeah I\u2019m fine, no problem Gerry, hope your meeting goes well<\/i>&#8220;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>That night Tom watched The Great British Bake Off with his wife and had a perfectly pleasant evening, he had forgotten all about Gerry and that door.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>So we can see, a simple apology turned an every day mistake or misunderstanding from something that could foster negativity and resentment to a non-event. The flip side of that is the lack of an apology can negatively effect a relationship for ever.<\/div>\n<div>So remember, if someone feels aggrieved, they feel they are due an apology.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><b>Why people don\u2019t say sorry<\/b><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Some times people don\u2019t want to say sorry because they don\u2019t feel they are at fault, or because they don\u2019t want to give a perception that a mistake was made. At times like this its important to remember that we can say sorry for something without taking responsibility for it.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Time for another story&#8230;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\n\n<a href=\"https:\/\/procommskills.comwp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/phone-1549070.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-282\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-282 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/procommskills.comwp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/phone-1549070-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" \/><\/a>\n\nTom got a phone call from someone who was very angry about some paperwork not being completed on time. Tom replied saying \u201cWell its not my fault, you want to call Gerry, he was meant to finish that paperwork, not me!&#8221;\n\n<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>The person on the phone got even more angry and decided to complain to Tom and Gerry\u2019s line-manager about their department.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>What Tom could have said was&#8230;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>\u201cI\u2019m sorry to hear you haven\u2019t received the paperwork when you were expecting to, if its ok I will see if I can find out what the time scale on that is and let you know when you can expect to get it&#8221;<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>The angry person on the phone calmed down and was grateful and later when they were talking to Tom and Gerry\u2019s line manager they mentioned how helpful Tom had been and Tom was later chosen for a promotion.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Again, we see that the lack of an apology can have a negative effect, even when it isn\u2019t our fault something has gone wrong. In this scenario tom was able to say he was sorry that someone\u2019s expectations weren\u2019t met without taking responsibility for it or admitting something had gone wrong. He just said he was sorry they didn\u2019t receive the paperwork when they expected to.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div><b>Did you notice\u2026?<\/b><\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>In both of these examples the apology was not delivered on its own, there was a second component.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>With the first example Gerry said he was sorry and offered empathy by asking if Tom was ok.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>Our second scenario had Tom offer to take action to get answers in addition to saying he was sorry.<\/div>\n<div><\/div>\n<div>While an apology is always important and the lack of one can be very detrimental, its just one ingredient in defusing a situation. Remember an apology on its own will only get you so far. There needs to be positive action attached to that apology to help change someones perspective.<\/div>\n[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]\t\t\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":26951,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[34,35,37,38],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why is it important to say sorry?<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Should you say sorry for things that aren&#039;t your fault? How do you apologise without taking responsibility? 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